sprsml om dating - Topsecretdating com
They see my delight in swiping, an activity most of them find boring or even disheartening at this point, as refreshing.But I've never actually been on a dating app as myself, a black woman. Yes, online dating seems fun from where I'm standing, but I think doing it as a woman of color would damage my faith in humanity.
"I think in the age of swiping apps, there's less ability to overtly discriminate, but there is still a lot of preference for women who meet a certain look," she explains.
Even though she's occasionally dealt with guys who went out of their way to say things like "I'm down with the swirl" (BRB, rolling my eyes for the rest of eternity), Sarah also feels like swiping apps are "pretty welcoming of diverse people," especially in cities like San Francisco and New York.
I felt objectified and grossed out." Jenny, who's tried Ok Cupid in addition to Tinder, has also experienced someone immediately trying to guess her ethnicity, which seems to be a pretty common experience for some women of color online. I just went to a Korean BBQ place.' I'm not Korean, and it's offensive to try to guess my ethnicity off the bat," she explains.
As you'll see, the "I'm going to assume or wonder if you're this ethnicity, then say something asinine about it" technique is clearly alive and well."Men have said dumb sh*t to me about Kama Sutra," Maya B., 25, a queer woman of desi descent who identifies as a first-generation American and second-generation Indian, tells SELF.
What's more, she met her current boyfriend on her first ever Hinge date after going on "probably 100 Tinder dates," she says.
So, to any women of color out there struggling with online dating, know that it is definitely possible to meet your match.Maya, based in New York City, works in the racial and economic justice spheres, specifically when it comes to gentrification.She's tried sites like Ok Cupid, Hinge, and Coffee Meets Bagel, and she's very upfront about her politics in her online dating profiles. "I once went on a date once where a guy asked me if I wanted to watch with him.An oft-cited Ok Cupid study from 2014 backs this up."Eighty-two percent of non-black men on Ok Cupid show some bias against black women," Christian Rudder, co-founder of Ok Cupid, wrote in a blog post analyzing the data.But it doesn't really bother her in person, and it likely wouldn't online. Some from a lack of education, others because they're from a different culture, and some are just plain stupid.