He has no idea what to write in his first email to you, and he’s competing with hundreds of men for your attention.

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Online dating may be a jungle, but it’s a jungle with a LOT of single people, so it’s best to learn how to master the process.

As a woman, your takeaway is that while you may get frustrated at the lack of quality responses, put yourself in a man’s shoes.

As someone who has been an online dating coach since 2003, I’d venture to guess that I’ve not only seen more usernames than just about anyone on the planet, but I’ve written more of them as well.

Why do I think that usernames make a difference, when everyone knows that it’s all about the profile and photo?

As a man, your takeaway is that the competition is fierce, and thus far, you have not been up to it.

Stop blaming Match or women or your city for your failures and learn to market yourself more effectively.

In case it’s not obvious: Demonstrate creativity, intelligence and a great sense of humour • Be totally different to anything she may have received before • Be obviously unique and not a cut-and-paste job • Show that I’ve read her profile and absorbed facts about her • Not be needy!

I have dedicated an entire volume of my bestselling audio series, Finding the One Online to how to write emails just like this.

• It took 2 months, 13 days for the most popular woman’s inbox to fill up.

At the current rate it would take the most popular man 2.3 years to fill up his. Well, you’ve seen this a few times before:“Most men compliment the attractive women a lot, they make reference to something in the woman’s profile (you would not believe how many times men mentioned the party tricks and ‘Arrow’ the cheetah from the generic profile I wrote), or they ask a general question about travel or something equally boring.” What SHOULD he write instead?

And when your ideal partner is scrolling through hundreds of names – Sally102, Jen NYC1, Lawyer Gal – a great username can be the very reason that someone contacts you. And you become convinced that usernames don’t matter. In my opinion, a username should be a pun or a play on words. Wine Not – for the wine aficionado Lady Go Go – for the world traveler Bach To Bach – for the classical music enthusiast Tender Legal – for the soft-hearted lawyer See the common thread?