The men are almost all impressively tall, many are blond and, almost invariably, they are extremely handsome with the bodies of Adonis.

Even better, they dress well, smell of expensive eau de Cologne, and they’re intelligent.

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Should they be inclined to work, they can likewise be found in the management of Germany's leading media outlets. The Pros: If you’re English and homesick, Aristo German Male will happily indulge your need to take lots of holidays back to the homeland.

The Catch: Aristo man probably has a vast Schloss somewhere on the Rhine, a place so beautiful you start fantasizing about updating it with expensive Italian furniture. Once he gets you home, all the ‘I-want-to-be-English-just-like-you-my-sweetness’ business will swiftly come to a screeching halt.

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The Survival Bible has put together a guide to some common Teutonic types.

Our advice: Be careful out there -- there is always a catch.

Stretched out by the swimming pool in my bikini, I asked: “Do I look fat in this? " Distinguishing marks: Adonis-like hairless, perma-tanned body. Favorite Activities: Marathons, hill running, admiring himself in a mirror, making tofu stir-fry.