Here’s what empathy would look like: You’d put yourself in their shoes and immediately recognise that after a breakup, it’s a confusing and painful time where you go through a plethora of emotions – it’s time to get out of the way.

You may even recognise that when you’re keen to avoid the hurt, it can feel oh so tempting to attach yourself to someone in the hope that they’ll distract, numb, or even excite, but you know that what they don’t do, is fix your breakup for you.

Tell me what you think,” too much ex talk can indicate that she’s still on his mind — all the time. Worse: Your relationship started before his last one officially ended.

not over ex dating someone new-17not over ex dating someone new-81not over ex dating someone new-89

It has now been a year and a half, and during that time, I have been dating this new guy who I really like.

However, I find myself being emotionally unavailable for this guy because somehow I’m still hung up on my ex as I have this image that he will come back to me in the future.

My college sweetheart whom I have dated for the past 5 years decided to move out of town.

On that account, he decided to break off the relationship with me because he says that he is not ready to be in a relationship right now, but wouldn’t mind to come back with me once he’s ready (which is according to him in the next 5 years – after he has finished fooling around).

You already know this and you called attention to it in your email. With a pretty clear path, if you want to know the truth.

Your new squeeze recently got out of a relationship. Every time you see him, he mentions his ex a handful of times. If someone is really over their ex, they should be able to talk about the relationship when sharing their life story with you. Related: Your new girlfriend is bummed that her ex is now in a relationship even though she is, too. If he’s still her emergency contact number, dog walker and snow-shoveler, neither is ready to move on. The mementos of their relationship are still on display.Being empathetic means recognising that they’re hurting but may be finding it hard to deal with it.There may have been no ill intention and that they were and are interested in you, it’s just they overestimated how ‘ready’ they are for a relationship.But at the same time, I feel that I’m not available for this new guy and I feel that I am cheating on him. He thinks he’s being a nice guy because he was “honest” that he needed five years to fool around, but all he’s doing is giving you false hope at a non-existent future. Watch as your relationship grows with your committed efforts. The only thing you lose when you cut off the ex is this: the fantasy that it’ll eventually work out. Actions speak far louder than words – both for you, and for him. Close off the possibility for true closeness and intimacy. Most of us cling to our fantasies as long as we can because a piece of us dies when we let them go. It’s hard for me to make a decision on who I should commit to. Until you cut him off, you will never be free to love again.