Stbxh and I don't have any issues, we're in 100% agreement with wanting a divorce and in complete agreement with a settlement.

I realise I am taking a risk on him by sticking with him, and I guess that if I want him then I have to, without even asking for much in return because anything that I might need in a relationship is put on hold while this divorce stuff goes on, and then I just wonder if I am just a fool. I also know that others in my situation can, like me, feel second best.

I feel like Im in too deep already and I dont know which way to turn. I think it depends on different things, how he's handling the divorce emotionally, if he's ready to move on to a new relationship yet, how complicated the divorce is.

My fear is what you wrote, he will get done with the divorce and after leaning on you through all this find out that he really wasn't that into you.

The problem is that a dynamic or precedence has been set already, He is used to treating you a particular way (2nd best) old habits are hard to break.

Have been dating a man for about 6 months who was very newly separated when we met (not that I originally knew this, I thought he was already divorced).

Im getting very anxious now that the divorce is getting rough, he is mentally all over the show that when its all over that things are going to change and I would have wasted my time. There are so many negative things out there about this and just for the record I was not around when they separated, I had nothing to do with it.But our relationship has always been very tumultuous.If I had known where he TRULY was with his divorce, I would have told him to call me when the divorce is finalized...There were never any secrets, my partner knew my situation from the very beginning and is fine with it, stbxh knows all about my partner.Stbxh and I might never get legally divorced, we're still working on that, figuring out the best way to go.Our financial advisor, accountant and attorney all feel staying married "on paper" would be a wise thing for us to do financially to protect us from Uncle Sam's tax wallet especially since we get along well, we're friends and neither of us is out to screw the other.