This can be especially difficult when there have been hurtful events, such as infidelity, but with a little diplomacy, you can avoid playing the blame game. As much as you can, try to agree in advance on an explanation for your separation or divorce—and stick to it. Make plans to talk with your children before any changes in the living arrangements occur.And plan to talk when your spouse is present, if possible. Be respectful of your spouse when giving the reasons for the separation.They may even feel guilty, blaming themselves for the problems at home.

If you can anticipate tough questions, deal with your own anxieties ahead of time, and plan carefully what you’ll be telling them, you will be better equipped to help your children handle the news.

Difficult as it may be to do, try to strike an empathetic tone and address the most important points right up front.

Say “I love you.” However simple it may sound, letting your children know that your love for them hasn’t changed is a powerful message.

Tell them you’ll still be caring for them in every way, from fixing their breakfast to helping with homework. Preempt your kids’ questions about changes in their lives by acknowledging that some things will be different now, and other things won’t.

You can also inspire trust by showing that you understand.

Many kids believe that they had something to do with the divorce, recalling times they argued with their parents, received poor grades, or got in trouble.At any age, it can be traumatic to witness the dissolution of your parents’ marriage and the breakup of the family.Inevitably, such a transitional time can’t be without some measure of grief and hardship, but you can dramatically reduce your children’s pain by making their well-being your top priority.Give your children the benefit of an honest—but kid-friendly—explanation. Your kids are entitled to know why you are getting a divorce, but long-winded reasons may only confuse them.Pick something simple and honest, like “We can’t get along anymore.” You may need to remind your children that while sometimes parents and kids don't always get along, parents and kids don't stop loving each other or get divorced from each other.Children have a remarkable ability to heal when given the support and love they need.