Dating after being single for a long time
I met my husband after I quit my job to travel the world full-time, was happy, in my element, and not even thinking about being with someone.Focusing on myself — what I liked, what made me look forward to the future, what I wanted — made a huge difference in opening space for love to come into my life.
Maybe I should stop apologising for mine, and admit to being genuinely happy, but I never want to not put my hands up in Single Ladies.
Because single me got me through a lot, and I don’t want to let her down.
When they talk about guys they’re dating and I hear them making the same mistakes that I used to make, I want to give advice. It’s exactly what girls with boyfriends used to do to single me, dole out soundbites of how ‘none of that matters with the right guy’ or ‘it was just so easy with me and X’.
My natural reaction to this was always to suppress the urge to vomit and/or inflict bodily harm.
Lindsay Tigar is a single writer, editor, and blogger living in New York City.
She started her popular dating blog, Confessions of a Love Addict, after one too many terrible dates with tall, emotionally unavailable men (her personal weakness) and is now developing a book about it, represented by the James Fitzgerald Agency.
and all the single ladies go wild and (obediently) put their hands up? Up till him, I had been the resolutely single girl friend, the one with all the flings, the one night stands and the all-nighters.
Except I shouldn’t, not anymore, because for over a year now I’ve been in a relationship. So why do I still stand up to be recognised in Queen Bey’s census of unattached females? I’m 28 on the home stretch to 30 and my boyfriend of the last year is, realistically, my first in over a decade.
Before I met my husband, I had spent a lot of time (on the open road with my puppy) thinking about things that went on in my past relationships.
In my head, I focused much more on things I had done wrong, ways I wish I had treated someone differently or things I would take back, if I could.
If you've been single for a while, you may feel like you've forgotten what it's like to be in a relationship.