Child by choice dating
When it comes to meeting men, Jane faces a bit of a challenge.You’d think she’d have no problem finding a boyfriend. She’s even a bit nerdy (face it, nerdiness is hot). Apparently, more men want kids than women do nowadays.
When searching for a partner, everyone has their own priorities.
Mine just happen to be one that not many share, but that doesn’t mean I should give up or give in.
He says he’s not surprised.“Most people around the world do want to reproduce,” Garcia says.
“I’m not saying everyone, but most.”And, he explains, having kids is often part of the relationship package.“There’s a desire to have affiliative gestures and build a life with someone,” he says.
Aren’t we notorious for running away when the pregnancy test comes back positive?
A couple days after talking to Jane, I call Justin Garcia, SUNY Fellow with the Laboratory of Evolutionary Anthropology and Health at Binghamton (NY) University. I had a like, 3 year stint of dating basically only women in San Francisco, and not a lot of SF lesbians are super sold on the idea of kids (probably because SF is so expensive and because babies are not a byproduct of lesbian sex.)So, I was like, ah-ha! In a Guardian article, Laurie Penny concisely expressed some of my current frustrations: I’m consistently taken aback by the number of men my age and older who speak offhandedly about their “future children”, without having planned in the slightest for the arrival of these notional sprogs — simply assuming that it’ll happen someday, when they’ve had time to dedicate themselves to their life’s work. Something like 80% of men say they want kids vs 70% of women. Except like, maybe the memo hasn’t gotten around about this child-desiring imbalance?What’s keeping Jane from finding that special long-term someone? She had her tubes tied six months ago.“My dolls were friends, not babies,” she laughs over the phone one rainy afternoon. (And no, Facebook friends, Jane isn’t her real name, so don’t try stalking her.) We’ve talked before about her finding guys who don’t want kids.It turns out that besides yours truly, she knows only one other man who isn’t into the whole babies thing.“I would have thought it would be very easy to find a man who did not want children,” she sighs.“Be upfront that ‘I’m a professional woman, this is what I want, this is who I am.